


The Blue Spirit

by pissfizz



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Coming Out, Internalized Transphobia, Nonbinary Blue Spirit, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Zuko, Self Acceptance, and homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24902938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissfizz/pseuds/pissfizz
Summary: Zuko has always preferred being the Blue Spirit over himself. There’s only one thing— he can’t figure out why.
Relationships: Aang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 269





	The Blue Spirit

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Uh please note that when I wrote this I completely forgot Aang already knew Zuko was the Blue Spirit... heh heh I’m dumb lol

Zuko has always preferred to be the Blue Spirit over himself. He doesn’t know why. He could still use his swords and be quiet when he’s not under the mask. Or is it the mask that he likes?   
Zuko sighed. No one even knew he was the one under the mask, not even his friends. Should he tell them? No, maybe what he likes is that no one knows who he is? He likes the feeling of being a mystery. Of not being Prince Zuko.   
Zuko reached into his bag and pulled out the wanted poster. He had torn down the poster of himself when they were in town that day gathering supplies. Zuko had made sure none of his friends saw him do it.   
The teen read over the words on the poster quietly. His friends slept around him, so he was careful as to not make any noise.   
The words on the poster dubbed him a mystery. All the knowledge was based on what he wore and his crimes. It used gender neutral pronouns, and had vague descriptions. He wasn’t sure why, but he enjoyed the use of the word ‘they’ when describing him.   
Did he- did he _like_ using gender neutral pronouns? Is that why he liked being the Blue Spirit? Because when he wasn’t Prince Zuko he wasn’t a guy anymore?   
Now that Zuko thought about it, he’d never really liked his body too much, but he just assumed that it meant he felt he wasn’t strong enough. But the more he thought on it, the more he realized...Zuko didn’t like his body because it was too _masculine._ He never liked being called a boy, but just assumed that that meant he wanted to be called a man instead.   
Was Zuko... No. He couldn’t be. He was male, it was wrong to call himself anything else. But maybe he could entertain the thought, just for a moment...? No! Zuko wasn’t some weird genderless freak like some of the Air Nomads he had learned about from Aang, he was a boy, he was a man, he was male!   
Zuko could remember, way back when he was little, when he was just old enough to actually retain any memories, the palace was hosting a party. His mother had put Azula in a dress, and Zuko was upset because he didn’t get to wear one too. When Ozai found out he was furious. Zuko knew in that moment he wasn’t supposed to like feminine things, and so he tried not to. Unfortunately he still sometimes caught himself liking girly stuff, but he refused to act on it.   
But liking girly things had nothing to do with his gender. What did have to do with it was the fact he found himself wishing people would stop calling him a guy, and that his body looked less angular and masculine. But that was stupid, he was a guy. Maybe hanging around Aang was messing with him. The airbender was always mentioning ‘you can be anything you want to be’ and ‘acceptance and love is always the answer’.   
Ugh. Zuko found himself disgusting for even considering the idea he might be anything other than a boy. Just as disgusting as he found himself when he blushed around Sokka (not that he did that or anything...). He was a heterosexual man and there’s no way around it.

Zuko groaned and buried his face in his hands. This was stupid. Why did he—

“Zuko?” His head snapped up at the sound of Aang’s voice.   
“Aang? What are you doing awake?”   
“I, uh, couldn’t sleep. Is something wrong?” Aang said as he stood up and moved to sit next to Zuko.   
“Everything’s fine.”   
“You’re a bad liar. Tell me what’s going on.”

”It’s stupid, it doesn’t matter.”   
“If it doesn’t matter, why are you so upset about it?”   
“I...” 

“Really, Zuko, you can talk to me. Sometimes it’s easier to talk things out.”   
Zuko bit his lip. Should he? Maybe this would help?   
“Fine... I... Did I ever tell you about the Blue Spirit?”   
“Oh, I know them! They rescued me once!”

”Well...uh...I’m actually...I’m the Blue Spirit.”   
“Really?! That’s awesome! That makes so much sense!” Aang cheered. “But why are you upset about it?”   
“Well...you see, I guess I’ve always liked being the Blue Spirit more than I’ve liked being myself... and I finally realized why.”   
“Why is it?” 

“I think it’s because...when I’m under the mask, no one knows who I am. And when no one knows anything about me... everyone just... people don’t call me a... a guy.” His voice got quieter the longer he spoke, and his face began to turn red. “See, I told you it was stupid.”   
“That’s not stupid! So you’re saying you don’t like being a guy? Are you a girl then?”

”I- what? No! Even if I did wish to be called a girl, it would still be disgusting and wrong and impossible!”   
“It’s not disgusting, or wrong, or impossible. Back in the air temples there were tons of people who were born the wrong gender, so they just requested to be called the right one, and that was that! It’s not impossible to be who you really are, and it’s not wrong or disgusting.”   
“It’s disgusting and impossible that I don’t want to be anything and everyone has told me my whole life that it’s wrong for me to like feminine things or be anything other than what I was born as! It’s illegal to do that!” Zuko exclaimed. If Aang had been drinking water, he would’ve spit it out everywhere.   
“It’s illegal in the Fire Nation?! That’s terrible! And it’s not wrong to like feminine things. Sokka likes feminine things, and so do I. And you can ‘not want to have a gender’ as you said. Plenty of people are like that! I had tons of friends like that! Some were even from the fire nation!”   
“What? No way.”   
“Yes! Their name was Akira! They were awesome! I wonder if they’re still alive...” 

“I wouldn’t think so. If you’re caught trying to be a different gender or being in a homosexual relationship, it can be punishable by death.”   
“That’s terrible! When you become Fire Lord, you need to fix that!”

”Why? It’s wrong, isn't it?”   
“No! Not at all! You should know that it hurts to have to present as the wrong gender, and you can’t control who you love!”   
“I- I guess.”   
“Zuko, I don’t know how you were raised, but if you grew up thinking that it was okay for people to try and control who you are, trying to force you to feel uncomfortable and ‘normal’ then you weren’t raised very well, no offense. Zuko you need to do what makes you happy, and if that means being a different gender than the one you were born as, that’s okay! Just know that if someone actually loves you, they’ll love you no matter what, whether you’re a girl or a boy or anything else, and they won’t care about who you’re attracted to because they love you. If they stop loving you, they weren’t worth your time in the first place.”   
Zuko was speechless. Was that true? Aang sounded so sure... But it went against everything he was ever told... But it also made him feel safe and happy and good. He didn’t even notice the tears coming from his eyes.   
“Would...would you guys still like me?” He whispered. He hadn’t meant to say it. Aang was taken aback.

”What? Why wouldn’t we? We love you Zuko. We all show it in weird ways, but we’ll love you no matter what. You’re one of us now.” Aang wrapped his arm around Zuko’s shoulders. Zuko sank into his embrace, and let the tears fall, one by one, dripping down his cheeks. He didn’t have to pretend anymore. He didn’t have to be a _boy._  
“Thank you, Aang. Thank you.” He sniffled.   
“So do gender neutral pronouns sound good to you?” Aang offered. Zuko nodded.   
“I’m not a boy.” Zuko whispered to himself. No. Not himself. Themself. They were finally ready to be who they’ve always wanted to be. 


End file.
